FEBRUARY 15 "DUMB & DUMBER IV"
Garry Hoy was a Canadian lawyer that worked out
of the 24th-floor story office in the Toronto Dominion Centre. From what we can
ascertain, Hoy was pretty taken by his office views and window durability. So
taken, in fact, that he claimed the windows were “unbreakable” – can you guess
where this is going? Hoy then took a few seconds before rushing towards the
aforementioned window at full pelt and slammed his body against the glass as
hard as he could. Amazingly, the lawyer had proved his point and survived.
There is a reason why Hoy is JOE’s number one dumbest death though – in his
mind, he hadn’t quite proven his point. Perhaps not fully appreciative of the
onlooking staff’s applause, or perhaps trying to impress a hot intern, Hoy took
another run-up, safe in the integrity of his incomporable super-windows. On his
second attempt, Hoy’s window finally gave way, hurling the lawyer through the
air and causing him to plummet to his death. However, Hoy’s cause of death was
not from crashing through his “unbreakable” window – the window pane had popped
out on impact, causing him to fall through, therefore proving the good lawyer’s
argument once and for all. Though he may have departed this mortal coil, we
like to think wherever he is, Hoy is chest-bumping and high-fiving strangers
with pure self-satisfaction. You were right Garry, and we’ll never forget.
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