FEBRUARY 11 "DEFICIENT IN RELATIONSHIPS"

Perhaps for many of us the intuitive thing is to assume that a person with bipolar disorder will have poorer interpersonal skills and be harder to get along with than a “regular” person.
How many of us look at it the other way around?
What I mean is, have you ever considered that marital problems may be a trigger for mood episodes, and it is stress somewhere in the relationship that is making the bipolar spouse worse?
Overall, my guess is that the former applies. However, there is still some room for a complex interplay between marital tensions that arise from the behavior of the bipolar spouse during a mood episode, and possible increasing and/or triggering of episodes of mania and/or depression because the bipolar spouse is so vulnerable to any problems that arise in the marriage.
It is easy for a couple to fall into a downward spiral where the spouse with bipolar disorder behaves in ways both highly provocative and highly reactive.
This leads to conflict with their partner, whose negative responses to this “bipolar behavior” makes the bipolar spouse more stressed and more insecure, in turn triggering even more episodes of mania and/or depression. Bipolar spouses can be trapped in a cycle of “acting crazy” and knowing it, creating stress that just triggers more mania and/or depression.
The divorce rates for Bi-Polar people is off the charts. Why is this figure so high? During episodes of mania, someone with bipolar disorder is likely to do things that are particularly destructive TO THAT RELATIONSHIP.
Examples include:
1. Outbursts of anger.
2. Reckless spending
3. Substance abuse.
4. Compulsive and obsessive behavior or grandiose schemes that alienate their husband or wife.
5. Staying up late, being undependable in their job, around the house, in their co-parenting and so on, all of which are far more destructive and disruptive than they may realize.
6. Sexual obsession, including hyper sexuality, preoccupation with inappropriate or uncharacteristic sexual activity, and infidelity.
It comes as no surprise to learn that bipolar divorce rates are high. The statistics vary according to the source, but most experts quote rates two or three times higher than the national average.

A common – but staggering – statistic that gets bandied about is that 90% of marriages involving at least one bipolar spouse will end in divorce.

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